Loving a Monster
by Calie1
Summary: Loki unhappily returns to Asgard when he finds that the mortal he had left behind is carrying his child.


Note: I'm pretty sure I'm expanding on this, but I'm keeping it as complete for the moment.

The doors were thrown open with the force of Loki's power. "Where is she?!" He demanded of his parents, but Odin only stared back at him with a calm facade. Frigga's brow creased with worry, but she said nothing. "Where is that stupid, little mortal," he growled.

"Loki!" Frigga exclaimed.

"Leave us," Odin said to he guards.

The hall cleared out quickly, leaving only Loki and the only parents he had ever known.

"I hardly think it fair to blame other's for your mistakes," Odin pointed out.

His mistake. Loki wanted to snarl, snap his teeth, strike, but he held his ground and kept calm. "Where is she?"

"Here," Odin responded, "where she will remain under the watchful eye of Eir, and then after."

"After." Loki repeated and watched them both warily. "Why after?"

"A half Jotun child does not belong on Midgard. Especially a child who may have inherited your abilities. Jane will take Idunn's apple after the birth. She will remain here to raise her child."

Loki hated they way he flinched at the mention of his heritage. He hated even more that he had passed on that part of himself, created another thing in the image of a monster. It was the mention of Idunn's apple that shook him from his disgust. "You'r bestow an Asgardian's life on her. Over a child?"

"Loki!" Frigga snapped finally and stood from her chair. "Enough! Disgusted with yourself as you may be, and distrustful of us as you always are, we love you, and we will love this child also, regardless of your feelings on the matter. A mother, a real mother, devotes herself to her children. The only way for her to do so is to be granted the same life her child would be born with. We are not so cruel as to deprive a babe of it's mother."

"And when she sees the monstrosity?" Loki asks gravely, refusing to be swayed by his mother's words.

"Always assuming Loki." Frigga smiled sadly and shook her head. "Your unable to fathom someone loving you, caring for you, so why would they love your child."

Your child. The words set him on edge. "I have no interest in this thing." He spat the final word with disgust and watched his mother take her seat and stare at him with an even gaze, fury burning behind her eyes.

"This baby will remain here with us, while your father is king and after when your brother takes the throne, whether it is your wish or not," Frigga said, her voice her, unwavering.

It was clear in that moment the position Frigga had taken. She was a mother, devoted to her children and passionate in her love for them. That feeling was now bestowed on this monster.

"Your mother is correct," Odin spoke up finally. "You have no say in the matter. I have spoken with Thor, we are in agreement. Make peace with the mortal if you wish, but she remains here, with the child she carries, and will take Idunn's apple."

Loki walked through the halls, a fury like no other on his face. No one would dare approach him as he stormed to the healing rooms Frigga's parting words echoed in his mind. 'The child she carries, your child, has made her unwell. Upset her, endanger either of their lives, and I will have you cast out.'

His own mother had threatened him with more force then the Allfather. It had always been Odin who was his enemy, but it was becoming very clear now that it would be Frigga standing between him and that monster and its mother with a hard, watchful eye.

Loki thrust open the doors to the healing room and walked in with hard, purposeful steps. It was the site of Jane on the table that startled him. He'd done so well with ignoring thoughts of her, feigning indifference. Immediately her brown eyes met his. It was only then that he noticed the image floating above.

"Ah, Loki. The queen said you would be here. How nice of you to finally join us," Eir said with a smile and looked down at Jane.

Something passed between the two women, and Jane smiled back at her. Loki tensed with the realization they were having a joke at his expense. "I follow the commands of my queen," he said, turning his eyes on Jane, not hiding the anger that boiled beneath the surface. She looked away and stared back up. Loki found his gaze drawn up also. Above Jane, Eir moved her hands over the outline of a baby. It's limb moved slightly and there was a slight fluttering within its chest.

"We've been monitoring Jane's progress closely. Midgardian children are conceived, grow, and are born much like our own. I have had to do some research into the conception and birth of Jotun's."

Again Loki felt his entire body tense with the mention of his true heritage. There would be no escape from it. Not now, not ever. Not with the impending birth and the people around hik determined to see it through.

"It was of some relief to learn that Jotun babies are not much different. There time in the womb is longer then a Midgardian child, by approximately thirty days. I'm quiet sure that we can make arrangement to sustain if it is not fully developed at birth." Eir waved a hand, extinguishing the images above Jane, and turned to Loki. "Our biggest concern was size, as I'm sure you can imagine. It was a relief to realize the baby has seemed to inherit your own traits and is growing at at a rate that Jane's body can accommodate. Although, I still predict that it will be a rather long child and therefore it may be necessary to take him before Jane's body is ready."

Kill it, he wanted to say. After all Eir had said he was quiet sure that's what should have been done. Loki didn't want it, and as much as he hated that woman lying on the table his heart betrayed him and pounded with each of Eir's revelations. The healer made everything sound so easy, but he suspected there was much concern for Jane's health then Eir let on. Loki hated that he found himself sharing that concern for the mortal. For a moment he considered just choking the life out of the alien being, but even he couldn't bring himself to do so. Perhaps if Jane had asked him...but as she sat up on the table and rubbed a hand over her bulging stomach he knew she would ask no such thing. Everyone was against him.

"Everything is going along smoothly Jane," Eir said with a smile. "Perfect health."

"Thank you," Jane said with a nod and smile.

Eir glanced at hims as she walked passed him, and from the hardened look in the healer's eyes he could tell she was also warning him. It seemed he was safe from no one.

Once the door closed he stood there, staring at nothing, refusing to look at the woman in the room.

"Don't you have anything to say?"

His eyes snapped to Jane. "My condolences," he snarled and turned to leave.

"You come back to give me your condolences?" Jane snapped.

He turned and watched as she slid awkwardly off the table. It would have been humorous if the thought of her carrying his child didn't disgust him. Her feet touched the floor, the dress of material falling back into place, smoothing over her stomach. Loki wanted to choke at the thought of it inside of her, growing. "What do you expect of me?" He asked angrily. "Did you hope for a happy reunion. Did you hope for me to be pleased?"

"No! I-."

"You cast me out," he said through clenched teeth and advanced on her. "Do you not remember that? Sent me away."

Jane swallowed and stared back at him, her face pained for a moment, but she quickly hid the emotion. "It was the right thing to do, for both of us. You said yourself nothing would come of it. I couldn't spend my life on someone I couldn't keep."

"It matters not," he said evenly, but the truth of her words still stung, because he had wanted to keep her. Regardless of his words he'd been determined to find a way to keep her with him, but before he'd had time to even pull together some semblance of a plan she'd sent him away, and he hadn't looked back. His mother always said he could never forgive and forget. "That time is over. Perhaps you can marry my brother now. How generous it would be of him to raise the spawn of his brother."

"Don't be ridiculous!" Jane exclaimed. "You are being stupid," she said, her tone laced with disgust. "I don't even see what Thor has to do with this. This is about me, you, and his baby."

"Baby?!" He exclaimed and laughed. Even to his own ears his humor sounded cruel. "Not a baby, a monster." To her credit, she wasn't shocked by his words in the least.

"Your mother had warned me you'd be like this, and that's fine." Jane took a deep breath, enlarged breasts and belly swelling with the effort. "I'm not going to let you upset me. Would I like you to be a part of this? Yes. But I won't fight you over it. I won't attempt to force you."

As if anyone could, he thought to himself.

"But I'm having this baby, here. It isn't ideal, it isn't my home and it isn't necessarily what I want, but what I want must is a safe environment this baby," she said without a hint of resentment over her situation.

Loki wanted her to be angry, he wanted her to hate the thought of being bound to Asgard. Then he would felt more righteous in his own anger. Yet she stood there calmly, taking the changes willingly.

They stared at one another in silence for a time. It was her that finally turned away and started walking past him. Loki meant to let her go, but when he heard her drag the door he found himself turning. "Why? Why even keep it? You've seen me, you know."

Jane sighed and looked down, then slowly she turned to face him, her eyes holding pity. "That would be cruel. I chose you Loki, I knew what your were, I didn't care. It's a part of both of us, what is there to hate?"

It was only when she turned again and left did his face reflect the pain he felt at her words.


End file.
